1. |
Narcissist
02:47
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oh god i think about myself so much
never enough for me
never enough to touch
and maybe i’m a narcissist
i don’t even know if i exist
i wish i’d evaporate
i’m ever the optimist
i’ve always got me on my mind
always at the wrong place at the wrong time
sometimes i wish i’d just shut up
wait, did i say too much or not enough?
hey i don’t even know what it is
that makes me have to be like this
i’m reading between the lines i swear
but the story i want just isn’t there
oh god i think about myself so much
never enough for me
never enough to touch
and maybe i’m a narcissist
i don’t even know if i exist
i wish i’d evaporate
i’m ever the optimist
i don’t wanna be the main character
i don’t wanna be potentially fictional
i’m not a selfish girl i swear
but i got so much going on upstairs
so i try to shake off what i can
remind myself of all my other plans
i don’t know why it is this way
the parts of me i want just never stay
oh god i think about myself so much
never enough for me
never enough to touch
and maybe i’m a narcissist
i don’t even know if i exist
i wish i’d evaporate
i’m ever the optimist
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2. |
Happenstance
02:58
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i’m waiting for the day that i can finally walk away from all this bullshit
sitting in my room practicing how to be cool but i can’t do it
i tried hard enough with my roommate and she’s mean for a nurse but anyway
it wasn’t enough and my life is weighing heavy on my chest
i feel so out of place
i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance
my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time
is just happenstance
oh it’s happenstance
and yeah i could scream out, do something rash, make people look
but where would that leave me
scared as a dog undercover where nobody can see
what’s a girl gotta do to just not be me
to just not be me
it wasn’t enough and my life is weighing heavy on my chest
i feel so out of place
i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance
my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time
is just happenstance
oh it’s happenstance
i feel so out of place
i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance
my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time
is just happenstance
oh it’s happenstance
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3. |
Whole Life
03:06
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i bit my nails down to skin
trying to figure you out
ended up with polish all over my mouth
nothing is enough for you
you always take and you never lose so
i played your game with something to prove
and i could wait my whole life
and you’d always stay the same
and i could waste my whole life
and you’d just watch me decay
how much is enough for you
how much more can i really do
how much is enough for you
if i’m only an object to you
and i would wait my whole life
if you promised you would change
and i would waste my whole life
and you’d just move on unfazed
somethings not right here
i don’t want to be your darling anymore
and that’s alright dear
you never cared but you always kept score
somethings not right here
i don’t want to be your darling anymore
and that’s alright dear
you never cared but you always kept score
(make yourself small)
(keep your comments reserved)
(always say yes)
(you are never deterred)
(i’m so done trying)
(i’m so done trying)
(i’m so done trying)
(to make you want me)
and i won’t wait my whole life
for you to decide if you’ll stay
and i won’t waste my whole life
i have learned to walk away
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4. |
Soccer Mommy
01:53
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i did a bunch of drugs before i turned 21
ate two tabs once a week for a whole month straight
don’t know if i remember what i looked like back then
when i said yes stood still head down took the bait
now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up
introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up
i drive around listening to soccer mommy
whisper i’m so sorry
to the girl you ate alive
and i’m not sure when it changed but i’m bored of being ashamed
i danced myself clean and i own a denim jacket now
my plants are still alive but the jade i got around you has long died
some things just suck
they aren’t always lessons either
now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up
introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up
i drive around listening to soccer mommy
whisper i’m so sorry
to the girl you ate alive
now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up
introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up
i drive around listening to soccer mommy
whisper i’m so sorry
to the girl you ate alive
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5. |
Did It To Myself
03:08
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i came back, let you in
my lipstick on your mouth
your hands taking me where i wanted to go
but the blame was too crazy
what hurts can be amazing
and now i’m back on my own, oh
we cannot ignore the way it was before
the way our hearts are sore
we did it to ourselves
i want nothing more than to stand in your doorway
ask if you were bored
i did it to myself
i did it to myself
i know you came with friends
but the show’s about to end
not sure how to say, will you stay with me
it’s different and the same
if you go back to where you came from
i’m not sure how to say, how to say
we cannot ignore the way it was before
the way our hearts are sore
we did it to ourselves
i want nothing more than to stand in your doorway
ask if you were bored
i did it to myself
you came back, let me in
you kissed me on my mouth
my hands showing you where i wanted to go
you came back, let me in
you kissed me on my mouth
you kissed me on my mouth
you came back, let me in
you kissed me on my mouth
my hands showing you where i wanted to go
you came back, let me in
you kissed me on my mouth
you kissed me on my mouth
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6. |
Concrete
03:34
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a summer ago we were inseparable
got burns and bruises but we both still came out gold
coffee machines and so many big dreams we built beneath the house that we called home
our home
it wasn’t enough and it started to rust
we watched the future that we built just slip away
i still think of you almost every day
but there are good things in life no one can force you to take
breathe easy, it’s always my fresh blood on the concrete
take your time, i’ve never been quite able to have a mean streak
we’re both hurt, and we don’t have to talk about who hit the ground first, but
when you do, won’t you please leave just a little room for the truth
you know that i miss you
you know that i love you
you know that my mom still prays for you
you know that i miss you
you know that i love you
you know that my mom still prays for you
you know that i miss you
you know that i love you
you know that my mom still prays for you
you know that i miss you
you know that i love you
you know that my mom still prays for you
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7. |
Nowadays
03:09
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they say to burn the pictures
they don’t know that they’ll fade
they say to climb the mountain
they don’t care if it rains
they say to wait till morning
they say, nowadays
we’re all just too impatient
we’ve grown out of our good ways
they say that nothing’s certain
except you live then you die
in the ground full of questions
everybody asking why
they’ll say that you were perfect
you were only 15
they’ll light a purple candle
they’ll all pray on their knees
and now you’re gone
tomorrow’s come again
goodbye, so long
i miss you my friend
i don’t know what it would be like
if you were around
i don’t know what you’d like or how you’d act
or how you’d sound
i don’t know why i think about it all of the time
you made a big impression
nothing
can change my mind
i don’t know what to say to you
i know you’ll never hear me
but i’ve been floating without you for
the last ten years, please
and now you’re gone
tomorrow’s come again
goodbye, so long
i miss you my friend
they say to burn the pictures
they say to wait till morning
they say that nothing’s certain
they’ll say that you were perfect
they say to burn the pictures
they say to wait till morning
they say that nothing’s certain
they’ll say that you were perfect
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8. |
Train Station
03:09
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you left me crying at the train station
i left my rest ashore shirt at your house
you said you checked and that it wasn’t there
gave me some other girl’s jeans
i guess its ok now
and time
won’t erase the stripes i wear now
but maybe they’ll scar and
day after day i wonder if you ever thought twice
but this heartache, i’m done with it now
and your power, i’ve got it all figured out
it’s a sociopathic thing to pretend to love
day after day oh i sit and i wait
for an answer that i’ll never get
and day after day i remember the pain
you sighed and left, my face was still wet
you met me crying at the train station
you said you missed me but you lied to my face
i tried to reason with you but nobody
can convert a heart that isn’t in the right place
and this heartache, i’m done with it now
and your power, i’ve got it all figured out
it’s a sociopathic thing to pretend to love
day after day oh i sit and i wait
for an answer that i’ll never get
and day after day i remember the pain
you sighed and left, my face was still wet
day after day oh i sit and i wait
for an answer that i’ll never get
and day after day i remember the pain
i loved you, or did you forget
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9. |
Bodies
03:07
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i’ve had enough of staring at the window or the walls
i’ve gotten to the point where i won’t answer any calls
shove it down my throat but i will think it right on out
nobody’s looking but me, and god, it feels like i could shout
i don’t wanna do it
i don’t wanna play
i don’t think i want to be perceived today
even if i could crawl into a cave all by myself
i would go crazy and i know i’d never call for help
it’s not even that i really just want to be alone
i just don’t like people thinking of me all on their own
i don’t wanna do it
i don’t wanna play
i don’t think i want to be perceived today
i don’t make it happen
i can’t make it stop
send me to the broken person repair shop
need a second opinion
on what is in my brain
maybe we can swap bodies
just for today
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10. |
Lighter
03:49
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i wanna be just like her
just like me like you like her
take off this weight please make me lighter
lighter
so done with being myself
i’d rather be anyone else
i’m tired of being a fighter
fighter
how many days until i tire of walking down the same street
how many days until you notice i don’t know how to be me
how many times will i try my hardest to get you to see
it doesn’t matter who i am if i just don’t know how to be
i wish i could time travel to a space that really just wasn’t this
i wish i could swallow my discomfort, there are no more frogs to kiss
i wish i tried my hardest to be a better person than i am
but i am the combination of insecurity and envy in a can
i wanna be just like her
just like me like you like her
take off this weight please make me lighter
lighter
so done with being myself
i’d rather be anyone else
i’m tired of being a fighter
fighter
i can’t solve this mystery
i can’t figure out what i’m supposed to be
i can’t solve this mystery
i can’t figure out what i’m supposed to be
i wanna be just like her
just like me like you like her
take off this weight please make me lighter
lighter
so done with being myself
i’d rather be anyone else
i’m tired of being a fighter
fighter
|
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11. |
Mine First
02:54
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i wanna be older for the first time in my life
i wanna be bolder, i wanna be sure that it’s right
i wanna stop crying, i wanna stop being so sad
i wanna say goodbye and not have it hurt so bad
i’m hurt, you know
there’s nothing we can do about it though
i love you so
so much i have to really let you go
i wanna be yours
but i have to be mine first
i wanna be yours
but i have to be mine first
you know i won’t forget all the good times that we had
i wanna be your friend, i wanna be your friend so bad
i want us to go out and for it to be ok
i wish it was different, why does it have to be this way
i’m hurt, you know
there’s nothing we can do about it though
i love you so
so much i have to really let you go
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12. |
Live Through This
03:00
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i know you so well i don’t even know myself
guided by the moon but really ruled by something else
i feel like a bad guy, like i really did mess up
but we are both the same and not ready to give it up
you never leave my mind
i hope i find the time to live through this
to live through this
i wish you were mine but i wish for a whole lot
and every time i see you, you’re the flame and i’m the moth
i know that we’re friends but that doesn’t make it less hard
nothing can erase the claim you made on my heart
you never leave my mind
i hope i find the time to live through this
to live through this
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13. |
End In Sight
02:25
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hold your hands over your face
come in first but lose the race
try as you might
there’s no end in sight for us
do your best to cover up
help them all empty your cup
try as you might
there’s no end in sight for us
and i
wish it could be different
and why
can’t it be different
hold me close and hold me fast
bloody knuckles home at last
try as you might
there’s no end in sight for us
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