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Sublimation

by Shalom

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    LP PACKAGING NOTES:
    - Transparent yellow vinyl
    - Limited Edition of 200 (Limit 2 per customer)
    - Vinyl pressed at GZ
    - Includes download card

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sublimation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    edition of 200 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    LP PACKAGING NOTES:
    - Vinyl pressed at GZ
    - Includes download card

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sublimation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sublimation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      $13 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Sublimation via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      $11 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Shirt

    This tee features artwork inspired by Shalom's debut album, Sublimation!

    - White shirt with green screen-printed design
    - Hanes Essential-T T-Shirt 5280
    - 100% pre-shrunk cotton
    - Classic fit

    Measurements (across chest):
    - SM: 18"
    - ME: 20"
    - LG: 22"
    - XL: 24"
    - 2XL: 26"
    - 3XL: 28"
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Button/Pin/Patch

    Colorful enamel pin featuring Shalom's logo!

    - 1.25" x 0.52"
    - Soft enamel lapel pin
    - Butterfly clutch backing
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      $9 USD or more 

     

1.
Narcissist 02:47
oh god i think about myself so much never enough for me  never enough to touch and maybe i’m a narcissist  i don’t even know if i exist i wish i’d evaporate i’m ever the optimist i’ve always got me on my mind always at the wrong place at the wrong time sometimes i wish i’d just shut up wait, did i say too much or not enough? hey i don’t even know what it is that makes me have to be like this i’m reading between the lines i swear but the story i want just isn’t there oh god i think about myself so much never enough for me  never enough to touch and maybe i’m a narcissist  i don’t even know if i exist i wish i’d evaporate i’m ever the optimist i don’t wanna be the main character i don’t wanna be potentially fictional i’m not a selfish girl i swear but i got so much going on upstairs so i try to shake off what i can remind myself of all my other plans i don’t know why it is this way the parts of me i want just never stay oh god i think about myself so much never enough for me  never enough to touch and maybe i’m a narcissist  i don’t even know if i exist i wish i’d evaporate i’m ever the optimist
2.
Happenstance 02:58
i’m waiting for the day that i can finally walk away from all this bullshit sitting in my room practicing how to be cool but i can’t do it i tried hard enough with my roommate and she’s mean for a nurse but anyway it wasn’t enough and my life is weighing heavy on my chest i feel so out of place i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time is just happenstance oh it’s happenstance and yeah i could scream out, do something rash, make people look but where would that leave me scared as a dog undercover where nobody can see what’s a girl gotta do to just not be me to just not be me it wasn’t enough and my life is weighing heavy on my chest i feel so out of place i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time is just happenstance oh it’s happenstance i feel so out of place i’m just trying to erase myself whenever i get the chance my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time is just happenstance oh it’s happenstance
3.
Whole Life 03:06
i bit my nails down to skin trying to figure you out ended up with polish all over my mouth nothing is enough for you you always take and you never lose so i played your game with something to prove and i could wait my whole life  and you’d always stay the same and i could waste my whole life and you’d just watch me decay how much is enough for you how much more can i really do how much is enough for you if i’m only an object to you and i would wait my whole life if you promised you would change and i would waste my whole life and you’d just move on unfazed  somethings not right here i don’t want to be your darling anymore and that’s alright dear you never cared but you always kept score somethings not right here i don’t want to be your darling anymore and that’s alright dear you never cared but you always kept score (make yourself small) (keep your comments reserved) (always say yes) (you are never deterred) (i’m so done trying) (i’m so done trying) (i’m so done trying) (to make you want me) and i won’t wait my whole life for you to decide if you’ll stay and i won’t waste my whole life i have learned to walk away
4.
Soccer Mommy 01:53
i did a bunch of drugs before i turned 21 ate two tabs once a week for a whole month straight  don’t know if i remember what i looked like back then when i said yes stood still head down took the bait now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up i drive around listening to soccer mommy  whisper i’m so sorry  to the girl you ate alive  and i’m not sure when it changed but i’m bored of being ashamed i danced myself clean and i own a denim jacket now my plants are still alive but the jade i got around you has long died some things just suck they aren’t always lessons either  now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up i drive around listening to soccer mommy  whisper i’m so sorry  to the girl you ate alive now enough time has passed for me to know what the fuck was up introducing her royal highness, it’s me — i’m a royal screw up i drive around listening to soccer mommy  whisper i’m so sorry  to the girl you ate alive
5.
i came back, let you in my lipstick on your mouth your hands taking me where i wanted to go but the blame was too crazy what hurts can be amazing and now i’m back on my own, oh we cannot ignore the way it was before the way our hearts are sore we did it to ourselves i want nothing more than to stand in your doorway ask if you were bored i did it to myself i did it to myself i know you came with friends but the show’s about to end not sure how to say, will you stay with me it’s different and the same if you go back to where you came from i’m not sure how to say, how to say we cannot ignore the way it was before the way our hearts are sore we did it to ourselves i want nothing more than to stand in your doorway ask if you were bored i did it to myself you came back, let me in you kissed me on my mouth my hands showing you where i wanted to go you came back, let me in you kissed me on my mouth you kissed me on my mouth you came back, let me in you kissed me on my mouth my hands showing you where i wanted to go you came back, let me in you kissed me on my mouth you kissed me on my mouth
6.
Concrete 03:34
a summer ago we were inseparable  got burns and bruises but we both still came out gold coffee machines and so many big dreams we built beneath the house that we called home our home it wasn’t enough and it started to rust we watched the future that we built just slip away i still think of you almost every day but there are good things in life no one can force you to take breathe easy, it’s always my fresh blood on the concrete take your time, i’ve never been quite able to have a mean streak we’re both hurt, and we don’t have to talk about who hit the ground first, but when you do, won’t you please leave just a little room for the truth you know that i miss you you know that i love you you know that my mom still prays for you you know that i miss you you know that i love you you know that my mom still prays for you you know that i miss you you know that i love you you know that my mom still prays for you you know that i miss you you know that i love you you know that my mom still prays for you
7.
Nowadays 03:09
they say to burn the pictures  they don’t know that they’ll fade they say to climb the mountain they don’t care if it rains they say to wait till morning they say, nowadays we’re all just too impatient we’ve grown out of our good ways they say that nothing’s certain except you live then you die in the ground full of questions everybody asking why they’ll say that you were perfect you were only 15 they’ll light a purple candle  they’ll all pray on their knees and now you’re gone tomorrow’s come again goodbye, so long i miss you my friend i don’t know what it would be like if you were around i don’t know what you’d like or how you’d act or how you’d sound i don’t know why i think about it all of the time you made a big impression nothing can change my mind i don’t know what to say to you i know you’ll never hear me but i’ve been floating without you for  the last ten years, please and now you’re gone tomorrow’s come again goodbye, so long i miss you my friend they say to burn the pictures  they say to wait till morning they say that nothing’s certain they’ll say that you were perfect they say to burn the pictures  they say to wait till morning they say that nothing’s certain they’ll say that you were perfect
8.
you left me crying at the train station i left my rest ashore shirt at your house you said you checked and that it wasn’t there gave me some other girl’s jeans i guess its ok now and time won’t erase the stripes i wear now but maybe they’ll scar and day after day i wonder if you ever thought twice but this heartache, i’m done with it now and your power, i’ve got it all figured out it’s a sociopathic thing to pretend to love day after day oh i sit and i wait for an answer that i’ll never get and day after day i remember the pain you sighed and left, my face was still wet you met me crying at the train station you said you missed me but you lied to my face i tried to reason with you but nobody can convert a heart that isn’t in the right place and this heartache, i’m done with it now and your power, i’ve got it all figured out it’s a sociopathic thing to pretend to love day after day oh i sit and i wait for an answer that i’ll never get and day after day i remember the pain you sighed and left, my face was still wet day after day oh i sit and i wait for an answer that i’ll never get and day after day i remember the pain i loved you, or did you forget
9.
Bodies 03:07
i’ve had enough of staring at the window or the walls i’ve gotten to the point where i won’t answer any calls shove it down my throat but i will think it right on out nobody’s looking but me, and god, it feels like i could shout i don’t wanna do it i don’t wanna play i don’t think i want to be perceived today even if i could crawl into a cave all by myself i would go crazy and i know i’d never call for help it’s not even that i really just want to be alone i just don’t like people thinking of me all on their own i don’t wanna do it i don’t wanna play i don’t think i want to be perceived today i don’t make it happen i can’t make it stop send me to the broken person repair shop need a second opinion  on what is in my brain maybe we can swap bodies just for today
10.
Lighter 03:49
i wanna be just like her just like me like you like her take off this weight please make me lighter lighter so done with being myself  i’d rather be anyone else  i’m tired of being a fighter fighter how many days until i tire of walking down the same street how many days until you notice i don’t know how to be me how many times will i try my hardest to get you to see it doesn’t matter who i am if i just don’t know how to be i wish i could time travel to a space that really just wasn’t this i wish i could swallow my discomfort, there are no more frogs to kiss i wish i tried my hardest to be a better person than i am but i am the combination of insecurity and envy in a can i wanna be just like her just like me like you like her take off this weight please make me lighter lighter so done with being myself  i’d rather be anyone else  i’m tired of being a fighter fighter i can’t solve this mystery i can’t figure out what i’m supposed to be i can’t solve this mystery i can’t figure out what i’m supposed to be i wanna be just like her just like me like you like her take off this weight please make me lighter lighter so done with being myself  i’d rather be anyone else  i’m tired of being a fighter fighter
11.
Mine First 02:54
i wanna be older for the first time in my life i wanna be bolder, i wanna be sure that it’s right i wanna stop crying, i wanna stop being so sad i wanna say goodbye and not have it hurt so bad i’m hurt, you know there’s nothing we can do about it though i love you so so much i have to really let you go i wanna be yours but i have to be mine first i wanna be yours  but i have to be mine first you know i won’t forget all the good times that we had i wanna be your friend, i wanna be your friend so bad i want us to go out and for it to be ok i wish it was different, why does it have to be this way i’m hurt, you know there’s nothing we can do about it though i love you so so much i have to really let you go
12.
i know you so well i don’t even know myself guided by the moon but really ruled by something else i feel like a bad guy, like i really did mess up but we are both the same and not ready to give it up you never leave my mind i hope i find the time to live through this to live through this i wish you were mine but i wish for a whole lot and every time i see you, you’re the flame and i’m the moth i know that we’re friends but that doesn’t make it less hard nothing can erase the claim you made on my heart  you never leave my mind i hope i find the time to live through this to live through this
13.
End In Sight 02:25
hold your hands over your face come in first but lose the race try as you might there’s no end in sight for us do your best to cover up help them all empty your cup try as you might there’s no end in sight for us and i wish it could be different  and why can’t it be different  hold me close and hold me fast bloody knuckles home at last try as you might  there’s no end in sight for us

about

Shalom makes strikingly direct music with such emotional openness and clarity that each track on her debut album Sublimation feels like a quiet revelation. While the Brooklyn-based, South Africa-raised artist writes fearlessly personal songs about moments in her life combining the storytelling of Lucy Dacus with the urgency of Indigo De Souza, her honesty is so blunt it’s inviting. Her lyrics clear whatever tension there is to make room for catharsis. These 13 tracks are a reflection of the many sides of herself with stories of heartbreak, feeling like an outsider, self-medicating and partying, and ultimately choosing love over fear. While she paints the edges of indie rock, Shalom along with her collaborator Ryan Hemsworth (Quarter-Life Crisis) team up for challenging and vivid arrangements that are danceable, driving, and also delicate.

Though Shalom has only been writing her own songs since the summer of 2020, she’d played bass in a band in the New Brunswick DIY scene. Following the dissolution of her band, she went through a period of mourning and writer’s block. “It was some of the most painful, creative experiences I've ever had,” she says. She wrote “Concrete,” the first song she ever wrote and produced herself, as a way to process the loss of that creative outlet. It’s a gorgeous track complete with yearning strings and Shalom singing, “We watched the future that we built just slip away / I still think of you almost every day / But there are good things in life no one can force you to take.” Even though it was her debut song, there’s depth and generosity tucked in each line.

She quietly released “Concrete” and a couple of other early home-recorded demos on a self-released EP titled the first snowstorm of the year in December 2020, which eventually caught the ear of producer Ryan Hemsworth. Impressed by her already-fully formed perspective and tight melodic sensibility, Hemsworth asked Shalom to write some more. “When I started writing I just kept having people believe in me and I started realizing that these were good songs,” she says. “I received the validation that I needed to keep going.” They quickly began collaborating with Shalom writing on bass and Hemsworth emailing tracks back for her to tweak and find a home for her lyrics. Among the earliest songs of their partnership is the rocking “Soccer Mommy,” which bluntly opens with, “I did a bunch of drugs before I turned 21 / Ate two tabs once a week for a whole month straight.”

What started as a casual email collaboration quickly garnered enough material to make an album. Lead single “Happenstance” finds Shalom world sick. Over a muscular bassline, she sings, “I’m waiting for the day that I can finally walk away from all this bullshit." As the track settles into a mesmerizing groove, she sings over the chorus, “I’m just trying to erase myself whenever I get the chance / my need to evaporate and receive validation at the same time.” It’s in these contradictions where Shalom’s writing thrives and is at the core of Sublimation. On opener “Narcissist,” which is so anthemic it’s meant to be played almost violently loud, the hook goes, “and maybe I’m a narcissist / I don’t even know if I exist / I wish I’d evaporate.” Shalom explains, “When I do something really embarrassing, the thing that I hear in my brain is literally “evaporate.” Her songwriting gets at two fundamental but at-odds emotions, effortlessly speaking truth to something that’s hard to articulate in real life: simultaneously wanting to be the center of attention and wanting to disappear completely.

As much as the album hones in on processing her trauma like on “Train Station,” which deals with a sudden breakup, and “Nowadays” which deals with profound grief, there’s a resiliency that stays constant throughout Sublimation. On the ebullient and funky “Did It To Myself,” she opens herself up. She sings, “what hurts can be amazing / and now I’m back on my own, oh” over bouncy synths and a sparkling arrangement. Shalom explains, “Anytime you move forward, you have to remember the past: Most of my songs are about moving forward by dealing with a memory.” Few songwriters not only fail to match Shalom’s excavating introspection but also the grace with which she deals with these uncomfortable truths.

Many of the songs on Sublimation came together almost instantly with Shalom sitting down with her bass and coming out with a fully-written song in a couple of hours. Standout “Lighter,” Shalom recalls, took 45 minutes. Arguably the poppiest song on the record with its breezy indie rock arrangement, she sings over shimmering guitars, “so done with being myself / I’d rather be anyone else / I’m tired of being a fighter.” Despite the unflinching subject matter, Sublimation is not a difficult listen. “The record is an introduction to me as a songwriter,” she says. “I think it shows my versatility, but really, it’s me being really honest, earnest, and naked. You can see my bones on this record. I'm okay with it though, because I’ve got to get it out.”

credits

released March 10, 2023

Composed and Written by Shalom Obisie-Orlu and Ryan Hemsworth
Lyrics by Shalom Obisie-Orlu

Produced by Ryan Hemsworth
Mixed by Ryan Hemsworth
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

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Shalom Fairfax, Virginia

hi! i'm shalom. i make noise for fun. here it is!

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